Boyfriends, Girlfriends & Gifts. How Much Is Too Much?
I recently had a group discussion with two extremely different groups of people. The first was a group of entrepreneur friends who’s net worth make me look like a darn begger. The second was a group of average working girls, some of which were involved in marketing, network marketing and a few hustles and investments here and there.
Now if you have all top earner, high profile friends. You know very well that anytime spent with them is coaching time. You seize the opportunity to get nuggets. Anyway, during our lunch date, the topic of boyfriends, girlfriends, and gifts came up. I recently, did a love languages test thanks to an Instagram influencer that I follow. And learned that different people are loved in different ways, gift receiving included. Which means giving and receiving gifts is a natural part of dating and relationships. More so, some require more gifts than others because that is how they best receive love. Does that make them gold diggers? Absolutely not! But how much is too much?
My second date which would be… What do you call the meal between lunch and dinner? Well, breakfast and lunch is brunch. So Linner? Or Dunch maybe??? Well, something! Dinner number 1! That’ll work. So anyway, for some crazy reason the same topic came up again. And I’m like okay this must be a sign! So here’s what came out of the two conversations:
1. The top earner females both loved giving and receiving gifts and felt that your net worth determines the type of gift you give in a relationship. They all seemed to agree that no gift is too small or too cheap. But they were all about luxury trips, jewelry, sunglasses and so forth. The funny thing was if a man gave a gift that was too expensive during the dating stage, they considered this a red flag. What!? I know right! It means that he splurges to impress. If the female buys the overly expensive gifts then that means that she aims to control. Interesting huh? I know right!!!
2. The hustler females, on the other hand, had limits to spending on a man. And generally felt that splurging and expensive gifts were acceptable and a sign of admiration or value. They felt that a man, if he has the money, should spend on his female of interest, and money shouldn’t be a bother because he has it.
3. One of the top earner females pointed out the type of gifts that Kanye West buys for Kim Kardashian. He doesn’t buy her things she can buy herself, but things she should buy herself like stocks, bonds, real estate. She felt that the type of gift says a lot about a man. But in the dating stage, while appreciated, it was a bit much.
4. I repeated the scenario to the hustler females, and their reactions were priceless. To them, Boaz or Prince Charming would be the man of their dreams if he did these things. But at the dating level though???
Now I am not here to compare the classes or socioeconomic statuses of these women. Though there is a very obvious pattern. I am just relaying the information. I won’t prolong this and say everything that was said, so I’ll leave you with this last point.
5. Both sets agreed that when it comes to boyfriends and girlfriends a limit but be set, on giving and receiving gifts. Because you do not want to send the wrong signal that you can be bought or you are in it for the money. Because if that is the standard you set for yourself, that is how you will be treated for the duration. You also, do not want to be used by anyone. If you present yourself as a Rockerfella Santa Claus, or a genie that’s who you will become.
6. They both agreed that you must use discernment with gift giving. Know who deserves what. And who to give gifts to in general. Know a gold digger. Know a hustler. Know someone who is genuinely loved by receiving gifts. And discern the difference so as to not get hurt, abused or used.
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