Write Your Own Eulogy To Determine What You Value Most
“Stranger, this silent stone asks you to stop, while it reveals to you what he, whose shade it covers, entrusted it to show. Here are laid the bones of Aulus Granius the auctioneer, an honourable man of high trustworthiness. No more. This he wanted you to know. Farewell.”- Latin Inscriptions. Epitaphs.
Over two thousand years ago, relatives of Claudia wrote these epitaphs for her. It shows show affection and respect; sadness and hope. However, more importantly, it tells us what was important for common Ancient Romans.
In the 21st Century, we have more trouble thinking about death. We’re taught we ought to live in the present moment, letting go of the past and not worrying about the future.
Moreover, we’re often too busy dealing with practical matters — paying bills, running errands, fixing little problems here and there. And while these activities can be important, those little occupations may make us forget about the big picture.
But sometimes we can benefit from looking at our lives from a different perspective — the perspective of death.
You might think it’s counterproductive to reflect on your own mortality, and feelings of anguish or sadness will make the experience negative. It doesn’t have to be that way.
A University of New South Wales study in terror management (the clash between our awareness of death and our instinct of self-preservation) concluded that an awareness of death increases the subjective value of the future for participants.
Another study by the University of Missouri shows that, while reminders of death may have negative as well as positive effects, they influence people to make positive changes in their everyday lives. For example, some participants expressed intentions to exercise more or quit smoking.
This is where writing your own eulogy comes into play. By looking at your life as something fragile and limited, you can get the focus back on what matters most to you and may, therefore, find ways to create more meaning in your life.
Find a quiet time and place, get a pen and paper, and get ready for a moment of reflection.
Find the path
If you were lost in the forest, the trees and uneven terrain would make it hard for you to find your way. Therefore, to get back on your path, you could find high ground to help you see beyond the trees.
Similarly, everyday tasks and responsibilities make you lose sight of the big picture.
When you start writing your eulogy, ask yourself:
• Where would you want to be by the time you die?
• What would you like to accomplish?
• In what areas would you like to grow?
• What is the main thing you would be known for? (One word)
• What kind of person you say you were?
• Who or what would be the most difficult thing to leave behind?
Consider your life as a legacy
Stop thinking about success and failure for a moment. Instead, focus on what you’d like to leave behind.